May 02, 2011

More than just a teacher...

We are so much more than just teachers.  I don't know if anyone knows just how many hats we wear in a days time?  We're teachers, counselors, police, parents, and poop whisperers. What...you aren't a poop whisperer??  Well, in my 14 yrs....today was the first time I had that title.  I was in the midst of teaching my 4th grade class when I heard a blood curdling scream.  I wasn't too alarmed because we do have a few Life Skills students that are screamers.  As it continued, I did not recognize the scream(teacher super power...being able to tell students apart by their scream).  I poked my head out in the hall to see what was up.  The screams were coming from the boy's bathroom across the hall from my room.  I went in to see what was up(going into the 3rd & 4th boys bathroom should come with HazMat training!).  One of our students was having some "bathroom issues".  Lets just say some things were havin' a hard time comin' out.  He was hysterical.  At its worst...he yelled out..."I think its going to make another hole in me!!!"  What do you do in a situation like that?!?!?!  I've been trained in dealing with my wife delivering our child, suicide intervention, and CPR.  Well...CPR wasn't going to help in this situation.  The other two though...came in handy.  I spoke calmly to him, and assured him that he was not going to have another hole at the end of this.  I told him to take short breaths and try to focus on something else.  I let him know that relaxing might help things "move along" a bit easier.  I got him to calm down & finish his business(there is way much more to the discussion the two of us had..but I'll not go into those details!!! ha ha).  He came up to me later and thanked me for helping him.  I am the poop whisperer, but I'd rather not have a hat for that!!!! 

12 comments:

  1. I just shared with with a million other teachers. This made me laugh out loud by myself at a the end of a very long day. Thanks for the laugh!!

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  2. oh my god, I can't stop laughing...poor kiddo!

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  3. I'm so making you a hat to wear at our next workshop!!!

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  4. I'm laughing so hard my bedtime tea is coming out my nose...

    You must have been one heck of a Lamaze coach!!

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  5. Hahaha in all seriousness though you are a great teacher and you help your students in so many ways :)

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  6. Hahahaha I think that beats any situation that I have had to deal with as a substitute!! Poor kiddo! Hope he's better today!!

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  7. Ok, my sons have done many things that have ended in me making muffins for the custodial staff. That however is not one of them!! And I have had to do many insane things as a teacher...including at one place where I had to clean said bathrooms (or get students to do it!) but never that! This story will make me smile all day!!

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  8. Bwhaahahaha! It must be the "poop" week. One of my kinders (who had been passing gas so foul it literally was like a wall of stench)came up to me and said: "I have a PAIN in my BODY!" I asked "Where?" He said "Everywhere!!" And, he did look like he was hurting. I whispered in his ear: "You've been tooting a lot. Do you think you might need to poop?"

    He abruptly stepped back, gave me a huge grin, and said: "YEAH! I gotta GO!"

    He was gone for about 15 minutes.

    But, the fact that kid was shouting out to you slays me. Bless his funny little heart.

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  9. This was an awesome end to a very hard day of work! I only wish to be a teacher whisperer. It seems that putting out fires between teachers is harder then putting out fires between kids. . . or kids and poop!
    Anyways this is the first time I LOL-ed with sincerity today! I guess the day wasn't a wash! Thanks!

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  10. Just read this.. My wife and I are laughing so hard.. How funny.....

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  11. I cannot stop laughing........

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